This week, pastor Chris taught on forgiveness from the parable of the unforgiving servant. We were reminded of the profound truth that God’s forgiveness toward us is both undeserved and immeasurable—and we are called to extend that same forgiveness to others. Though forgiveness can be difficult and costly, it is a freeing act of obedience that reflects the heart of God and protects us from the torment of bitterness.

4 Thoughts on Forgiveness…

1. Forgiveness can seem difficult. 

Matthew 18:21–22 (ESV)

21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Luke 17:3–4 (ESV)

3 Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, 4 and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

“Jesus confronts Peter with the truth that the spirit of forgiveness really knows no boundaries.” (Believers’ Study Bible)

Forgiveness does not mean:

  1. We need to feel like it.
  2. What they did was right.
  3. The consequences of sin go away.
  4. That trust is automatically restored.
  5. That reconciliation will always happen.

2. Vertical forgiveness is a miracle.

Matthew 18:23–27 (ESV)

23 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.

“We are all beggars before God. We can never hope to pay.” Martin Luther

Luke 23:34 (ESV)

34 And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” And they cast lots to divide his garments.

Forgiveness of a Massive Debt Shows…

  1. We owe a massive debt to our holy God.
    1. We are unable to pay such a debt (Romans 6:23).  
    1. God’s mercy is withholding his immediate righteous judgment we all deserve.  
    1. God graciously provided Christ  to pay the debt for our sins.  

Colossians 2:13–14 (ESV)

13 And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, 14 by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.

3. Forgiving others is a command, not an option.

Matthew 18:28–30 (ESV)

28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.

Matthew 18:31–33 (ESV)

31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’

Matthew 6:9–12 (ESV)

9 Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. 10 Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread, 12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

“The person who gains the most from forgiveness is the person who does the forgiving.” RT Kendall

Signs of Unforgiveness…

  • Do you tend to nurse grudges for extended periods of time?
  • Have you found yourself strategically avoiding certain people?
  • Do you feel anger, sadness, or the need to withdraw when you hear a certain name?
  • Does it bother you when something good happens to the person who harmed you?
  • Do you have imaginary conversations with someone in your head, or replay a conversation over and over?
  • Do you gossip about or slander those who have hurt you in the name of “venting” or “being honest”?
  • Are there only certain people you can tolerate being around?
  • Do you easily slip into sarcastic or diminishing humor toward a person or group?
  • Do you have a hard time trusting in general?
  • Could you be described as “punchy” “edgy” or “biting”?

4. Unforgiveness brings torment.

Matthew 18:34–35 (ESV)

34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)

  • Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

“Prompted by gratitude the forgiven sinner must always yearn to forgive whoever has trespassed against him.” (unknown)

James 2:13 (NLT)

13 There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you.


“If I say, ‘Yes, I forgive, but I could never forget,’ as though the God who twice a day washes all the sands on all the shores of all the world could not wash such memories from my mind, then I know nothing of Calvary love.” Amy Carmichael

Some signs that you have forgiven from the heart…

  • You genuinely desire the best for them.
  • You can confidently and freely pray blessing over them.
  • You desire to love them in increasing measure.
  • You have no desire for vengeance or to expose them to shame.
  • You do not hold their sin against them or keep bringing it up.

“Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.” Corrie Ten Boom

How do we forgive?

  1. Fully forgive the individual. 
  2. Release them of any debt to that you think is owed you. 
  3. Choose to not to hold the sin against them.
  4. Pray blessing and abundance over them. 
  5. Ask forgiveness for the unforgiveness in your heart.
  6. Repent, Receive, Rebuke, and Replace.

Discussion Questions:

  1. How does Jesus’ response in Matthew 18:21–22 and Luke 17:3–4 reshape your view of the limits of forgiveness?
  2. What role does prayer play in helping you forgive others?
  3. Looking at the six practical steps for forgiveness (Fully forgive, Release debt, etc.), which one is hardest for you—and why?

Application Questions:

  1. Think of someone you are struggling to forgive. What step could you take this week toward heart-level forgiveness?