This week, Pastor Chris continued in our series through the book of Malachi. Malachi 2 touches on the difficult topic of divorce, and Pastor Chris shared how God’s purpose is always to redeem what has been broken. God loves marriage because it is designed to reflect His perfect love for His bride. He also hates divorce, but His love and story of redemption always reigns supreme over each of us. Chris shared the important truth that we will have a healthy marriage when we keep Jesus on the throne of our hearts and at the center of our marriage relationship.
God’s Design for Marriage
Genesis 1:27–28 (ESV)
27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. 28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion…”
Genesis 2:18 (ESV)
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
Genesis 2:24 (ESV)
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
3 P’s of Marriage:
- Priority
- Pursue
- Possess
Danger of:
- Disconnecting: You will justify your sins when you disconnect from God’s plan.
Malachi 2:10 (ESV)
10 Have we not all one Father? Has not one God created us? Why then are we faithless to one another, profaning the covenant of our fathers?
Judges 17:6 (ESV)
6 In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes.
2. Discouragement: Complacency sets in when you do not turn your heart to God for encouragement.
Malachi 2:11-12 (ESV)
11 Judah has been faithless, and abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem. For Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord, which he loves, and has married the daughter of a foreign god. 12 May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob any descendant of the man who does this, who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts!
2 Corinthians 6:14–16 (ESV)
14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15 What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, “I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
3. Deception: You cannot deceive God with your emotions while refusing to remain faithful to your marriage covenant.
Malachi 2:13 (ESV)
13 And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand.
Godly Sorrow vs. Worldly Sorrow
2 Corinthians 7:9–10 (ESV)
9 As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. 10 For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.
4. Deflecting: When you refuse personal responsibility, you will shift the blame to your spouse and others.
Malachi 2:14 (ESV)
14 But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.
1 Peter 3:7 (ESV)
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
When their expectations are not met, most people:
- Pack up and leave
- Give in
- Compromise their marriage
- Control
5. Destruction: Generational destruction can occur when you don’t guard your heart.
Malachi 2:15 (ESV)
15 Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.
Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)
23 Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
6. Desertion: Invest in your marriage to stay connected and committed.
Malachi 2:16 (ESV)
16 “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”
The bond of marriage is broken only by:
- Death
Romans 7:2 (ESV)
2 For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage.
- Adultery/Sexual Immorality
Matthew 19:9 (ESV)
9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
5. Desertion (an unbeliever leaving).
1 Corinthians 7:15 (ESV)
15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.
- Physical Abuse? – Godly wisdom says to separate and leave.
| Avoid | Apply |
| Disconnection | Connection |
| Discouragement | Courage |
| Deception | Clarity |
| Deflecting | Consideration |
| Destruction | Construction |
| Desertion | Communication |
“What is one thing I can do to serve you more?”
Discussion Questions
1. We have all heard the statistic that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. What did Chris say is the true statistic?
1. Why is it important to understand that while God hates divorce, He loves the individuals who experience and are affected by divorce? How does this reality affect your heart?
2. What was Chris’s encouragement for those who are currently single?
3. Which of the 6 dangers is your greatest struggle in your relationship (if any)? Which of the 6 applications will you pursue instead?
4. How do you respond when your expectations are not met (pack up and leave, give in, compromise, or control)?
5. Pastor Chris said, “control is the enemy of love.” How and why is this the case?
Application Questions
1. Do you view your spouse as a daughter or a son of the King who you have made a covenant with? Ask the Lord to give you this lens for your spouse this week.
2. Ask your spouse this week, “what is one thing I can do to serve you more?”
3. If you’re married, which of the 6 dangers do you need to guard yourself against? Share with your spouse this week, pray together over this issue, and commit to walking in the opposite spirit.
4. If you are single, go before the Lord this week and commit to pursuing a man or woman who loves God more than anything else. Commit to zero compromises in this area.