This week, Pastor Chris began a new sermon series on the book of Proverbs. Chris shared how this Old Testament book provides sound, practical information for those seeking to live in wisdom. The book of Proverbs was written by Solomon, who asked for wisdom when God offered to give him one thing. Chris sought to explain what marks a wise relationship or marriage. God has a prescribed plan for wisdom within marriage to produce a rich reward.
Proverbs 1:1–7 (ESV)
1 The proverbs of Solomon, son of David, king of Israel: 2 To know wisdom and instruction, to understand words of insight, 3 to receive instruction in wise dealing, in righteousness, justice, and equity; 4 to give prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the youth— 5 Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance, 6 to understand a proverb and a saying, the words of the wise and their riddles. 7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Proverbs 8:17 (ESV)
17 I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.
1 Timothy 4:7 (ESV)
7 Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness;
Marriage God’s Way
- Fear of the Lord. If you want to have a wise marriage, learn to fear the Lord. This affirms God’s sovereignty and Lordship over our lives.
Proverbs 9:10 (ESV)
10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.
Proverbs 1:7 [ESV]
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Soft Heart Toward Spouse = Fear of Lord
Hard Heart Toward Spouse = Fear of Lord lacking
Fear of the Lord: Venerate Him. To honor, respect, revere, stand in awe of Him more than anything or anyone else in the universe.
4 Blessings of the Fear of the Lord:
- It will keep you on the Lord’s path (Jeremiah 32:40).
- It produces a secure household (Exodus 1:21).
- It provides clarity and direction (Psalm 25:12).
- It positions our hearts to receive answers (Hebrews 5:7).
Proverbs 28:14 [ESV]
Blessed is the one who fears the Lord always, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity.
Proverbs 31:11,30 [ESV]
The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain…Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
- Forgive. Learn how to forgive from the heart (not just the mouth). We have to have a PhD in forgiveness.
Proverbs 28:13–14 (ESV)
13 Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. 14 Blessed is the one who fears the Lord always, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity.
Proverbs 20:9 (ESV)
9 Who can say, “I have made my heart pure; I am clean from my sin”?
“The average couple waits 6 years before seeking help for marital problems” (Gottman, J.M. 1994).
Proverbs 14:16 [ESV]
One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless.
Proverbs 13:21 [ESV]
Disaster pursues sinners, but the righteous are rewarded with good.
4 Horsemen that predict divorce (Gottman, J.M. 1994):
- Friendship. Who we spend time with has a direct effect on who we become. Many are companions, but few are real friends. Commit to having a strong friendship with your spouse and with others.
Proverbs 18:24 [ESV]
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 13:20 [ESV]
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Proverbs 17:17 [ESV]
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Song of Solomon 5:16 (ESV)
16 His mouth is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable. This is my beloved and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.
Proverbs 20:6 (ESV)
6 Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find?
Proverbs 17:9 (ESV)
9 Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.
- How would you define “fear of the Lord”? What is its opposite? (answer: a hard heart)
- What does fear of man look like? How would it compare to fear of the Lord?
- How often do you ask, “what is right in God’s sight”? How would this question help if and when you’re faced with a moral dilemma?
- Pastor Chris said “couples don’t fall out of love so much as they fall out of repentance and forgiveness”. Do you agree?
- Why is it important to surround yourself with Godly friends and couples?
- How strong is your fear of the Lord? Seek to answer this question this week, and ask for more (according to James 4:2-3).
- Do you struggle with fear of man? How does this manifest in your life? Submit this sin reaction to the Lord and commit to grow in fear of the Lord this week.
- Pastor Chris said that there’s a level of diligence and focus necessary to be trained in wisdom and godliness. Have you struggled with spiritual laziness? Ask the Lord to develop character and resilience in you. Rebuke spiritual passivity and apathy and walk in the opposite spirit this week.