This week Pastor Chris continued in 1 Peter, sharing with his wife Jena about how to stand firm in marriage. The Hippes shared the reality that every marriage can have a 100% success rate if each spouse will choose to live out what the Bible says. We must choose to honor one another and adorn ourselves with faith, fear of the Lord, Godly thoughts, and humility. The measure we live in fear of the Lord will directly affect the health of our marriage relationships.
Honoring Your Non-Christian Spouse – In light of what Christ has done, we choose to honor. Remember that honor does not have to mean full agreement. As Christians, we must appeal to the higher authority on behalf of a non-believing spouse. How you treat your spouse will speak louder than your words. Your character is your resume. Make it your goal to find a husband or wife who is willing to submit to authority.
1 Peter 3:1–2 (ESV)
1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
Wives Honoring Their Husbands – The goal is not to win an argument, but to win your spouse. There is a connection between fearing the Lord and honoring your spouse. For women, the beauty starts on the inside. A gentle and quiet spirit is ready to hear from the Holy Spirit. To adorn means to arrange, to enhance, to beautify, to put in order. As wives, we should be adorned with faith, fear of the Lord, Godly thoughts, and humility.
1 Peter 3:3–4 (ESV)
3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.
Proverbs 31:30 (ESV)
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Philippians 4:8 (ESV)
8 Finally, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Psalm 139:23 (ESV)
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!
1 Peter 3:5–6 (ESV)
5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
Genesis 12:11–13 (ESV)
11 When he was about to enter Egypt, he said to Sarai his wife, “I know that you are a woman beautiful in appearance, 12 and when the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife.’ Then they will kill me, but they will let you live. 13 Say you are my sister, that it may go well with me because of you, and that my life may be spared for your sake.”
Why do we fight in marriage? – Fear
- Fear makes us selfish.
- Fear makes you sinful.
- Fear makes you say the most hurtful words.
- Fear makes us stupid.
Husbands Honoring their Wives – Men must humble themselves like Christ did. To live in an understanding way means to tenderly nurture, to be courteous, respectful, kind, and soft-hearted. Show honor to your wife and humbly serve her. She is fully equal with you, but you will carry the heavier load. Remember that you have equal standing before the Lord. Your wife is God’s daughter – are you treating her that way?
1 Peter 3:7 (ESV)
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
- Honor Her Spiritually
- Honor Her Emotionally
- Honor Her Physically
- Honor Her Sexually
- Honor Her Verbally
- Honor Her Financially
- Honor Her Practically
- Honor Her Parentally
- Honor Her Consistently
6 Ways for Your Marriage Stand the Test of Time:
- Come Under God’s Authority
- Obey the Word
- Be Healed of Your Past
- Learn from and defer to one another in areas of wisdom.
- Serve One Another Selflessly — love serves, selfishness demands
- Always work for unity and against division
- Why is it important for our spouse or significant other to have a mentor?
- What would it look like to appeal to our higher authority on behalf of a spouse? In what circumstance should one do this?
- What are some practical ways a woman can adorn herself with faith, fear of the Lord, Godly thoughts, or humility?
- What are some practical ways a man can live in an understanding way toward his wife?
- What role does fear play in conflict between spouses? What role does the fear of the Lord play in creating a healthy marriage relationship?
- How can you honor your spouse without fully agreeing with them? If you find it difficult to do this, pray for 1-2 ways you can choose to honor this week.
- Women: which of the 4 areas do you need to work on adorning yourself with: faith, fear of the Lord, Godly thoughts, or humility? Choose one to pray for more of this week.
- Men: do you see your wife as a daughter of God? If you’re struggling to live in an understanding way toward your wife, confess and repent of that this week. Ask the Lord to give you His eyes for her.