When I think of the time when I fully accepted God into my life it gets a little hazy. Ever since I was a child I’ve always felt some form of his presence. I heard him in the rain. I saw him in sunsets. I knew when I slept that his warmth was what enveloped me in peace. One of the earliest memories I have is of Christmas with my family. My mom says that right before we opened gifts I asked for us to pray before we did anything. I started a tradition right then and there that the reason for the season was in fact, God. For the longest time, I just thought he was always with me.
It wasn’t until the lowest moment of my life in 2008 that I realized I wasn’t always with him. I’d had a heartbreaking end to a relationship, My Great-Grandmother passed away, and I was back home from college after only one year away. I felt shame and regret and like I was a failure. It was then that he spoke to me “I want a relationship WITH you.” I want you to choose me as I’ve always chosen you. It was then that my heart posture began to change. I read the bible for my understanding and growth and not for others or to please some unspoken rule. I prayed and accepted any and all opportunities he gave to me and allowed him to begin maturing me. I sowed with the gifts he gave me and didn’t allow my talents to be wasted. I went full if he says go then it’s time to go. The journey has been an enlightening one that is new every day. I am thankful to be at a church that is growing my faith and purpose in the Lord.